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  • Writer's pictureSean Hoggard

Its HARD Being A Man: In America

Updated: Jun 25, 2020

Society expects men not to have feelings or show any emotions. That shows weakness, and men are supposed to be strong. Society says a weak man is not good. According to society, men are not allowed to cry, taught to suck it up and move on, which results in men forced to bottle everything up internally. Like a soda bottle, when the pressure comes, it explodes, and all the soda comes out. Sometimes everything we have bottled up comes out at the wrong moment, and we make a mess. Sometimes men have things bottled up for years. I know because I am a man, and I have done it. I am still healing from stuff from my past. It affects our confidence, relationships, and much more because of the issues not addressed. What are we supposed to do when we feel pain? What are we supposed to do when we are hurt? We are people, and we bleed and breathe like everyone else. We experience the same emotions and feelings as everyone else. So why are we treated differently? Men show your feelings. We are hurting. Let out your pain in a constructive manner.


In America, it is especially hard for the black man. Black men are used as targets as too many black men are getting harassed and gunned down in the world today. George Floyd, Rayshard Brooks, Alton Sterling, Ahmad Aubrey, Philando Castille. Sadly this is a shortlist of too many black males gunned down by white police officers or white individuals. The system has set up for men, especially African American men, to fail. According to the US Sentencing Commission. “Demographic Differences in Sentencing.”, Black men in the US receive sentences that are 19.1% longer than those of white men convicted for the same crimes. According to the sentencing project, Black men are six times more likely to be incarcerated than white men. The law in the United States, in a nutshell, is simple ‘Felons are not allowed to vote. Since the black male is the majority that gets incarcerated, we have a low chance to let our voice heard as who is in office. The country wants us to be silent and not have a voice. According to the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, before the coronavirus in March of 2020, the unemployment rate of African American males was 7.0 compared to Caucasian males, which is 3.7. and 4.1 for Asian males. Unfortunately, these African American male unfairness trends continue to this day and reach more topics such as education. Like myself, a black male takes witness to these things. It is mind-blowing and heartbreaking that we are going through times like this. It is time for us to make a change! 

In conclusion, I have some suggestions to help men concur with the issues that I stated above. First, I would like to suggest joining a men’s only life group. I joined a men’s only life group with some of your closest male friends from the church I attend. Shoutout to Kingdom Fellowship AME Church and Pastor Matthew Watley. My men’s life group is currently reading the book Man in the Mirror by Patrick Morley. We get together every week to discuss what we have learned, and topics brought up in the book. A men’s only life group allows men to come together and do life with one another. To gather with other men and interact. When you meet up with your group as frequently as you all want, I suggest reading a book and discussing it, having a game night, and having a vision board party. Whatever you all decide to do, make sure you all are interacting and building one another up. Make sure you always motivate and inspire one another. Another suggestion I have is consistently talking with a psychologist. It is good to get how you feel out to someone qualified and have the experience to help. Someone who will tell it how it is and not be biased and tell you everything you want to hear. I, myself, talk with my psychologist weekly. I can say that it helps me a lot, and I see improvement in myself. My third suggestion is to get together with a close friend. The two of you may become each other’s accountability partners. Hold each other accountable. Make sure you do not get off track of your goals. Men, we are essential, and we need to live life like it. We all go through the same issues. We can and will get through these issues together. We shall not be afraid to speak our minds when something is not right. We shall not allow anything to let us not live our life. 

Now that we have worked on ourselves, it is time to work on our community. My last suggestion is to vote on election day for a change. Bring in people willing to make a difference. Vote for new members of Congress, mayors, and a new president. It is time for a new president. Let’s continue to have our voices heard. Create petitions for justice and law changes. Continue to protest SAFELY! Remember, we are still a pandemic. We can not remain silent on these issues any longer!


Photo Courtesy of National Museum of American History


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