If you want to get married, please make sure you are healed or get healing from your past. Marriage showcases your strengths and exposes your weaknesses. It brings out your good and/or bad character. Though, do not let me discourage anyone from tying the knot. It is a beautiful thing. Spending the rest of your life with that one special person is exhilarating. It is easy to go out and mess with woman after woman. Going around woman after woman gets boring after a while. Soul ties are exchanged, and you are left with a piece of every person you have been with. Sometimes there may be a waste of money and time. Time is of essence that you cannot get back. The real challenge is to grow with one person and learn that person no matter how long it takes. Deal with the ups and downs, which include arguments, disagreements, and more.
I have been married for a year now. In that year, there has been plenty of highs and lows. I am pretty sure married people who are reading this can relate to that first year of marriage. Everyone I know is married says that the first year of marriage is challenging because the foundation is being built. Both myself and my wife are learning to break old habits from our single days. Myself, personally, I came into the marriage not all the way together as a man. I have confidence and low self-esteem issues. I deal with a lot of anxiety. It is tough when you are trying to work on yourself and build a marriage. I will use the analogy when you are in school and your teacher assigns you to read a couple of chapters. You did not read those chapters, and the teacher has assigned more chapters after that to read. So now, you have double the work to do. At times, I have to put a halt on my progression to ensure my wife is okay. Men, your wife, will take care of you if you take care of her.
I did not have an excellent example of marriage growing up. My aunt was married multiple times, and my grandparents were married for 63 years. You think 63 years; is good, but my grandparents suffered through issues where my grandfather stepped outside the marriage. Also, there were lots of yelling in the house, and I witnessed my grandfather talking to my grandmother any kind of way at times. Don’t get me wrong, he loved her, but I don’t know what was going on in his head. It got to a point where they were living in different bedrooms. I do not know the backstory behind this, but I would find it hard to build intimacy by sleeping in separate rooms.
Marriage is what you make it to be, fellas. You get what you put in. As husbands, it is our responsibility to lead by example and take responsibility for how the marriage turns out. I have been told so often that men set the temperature and women tell us what the temperature is. Men do not discourage this. You may be wondering, what if my woman does not follow my lead or do as I say in situations. First, you must give her a reason to lead. You must take the role of leader and lead by example. Husbands, it is our responsibility to provide for and protect our wives.
Husbands, it is hard, but we are strong to get through it. We all have weak moments, but it is about how you bounce back from them. Divorce is not always the answer unless there is any physical abuse, infidelity, or something to that degree of nature. Husbands, to get the best out of your marriage, invest in it. Go to marriage counseling and/or¬ read books for marriage such as The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Also, ignore the outside noise about how your marriage should be, especially from those who are not married. Putting in an effort in the marriage, Husbands, that’s all that you can ask for. It will take time, so use your time wisely. Husbands, you got this! I believe in you all!
Photo courtesy of Sandy Millar on Unsplash
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